


maybe

by momentofclarity



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (no one is even close to underage), Age Difference, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Love at First Sight, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 00:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13582503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentofclarity/pseuds/momentofclarity
Summary: I cannot not see you again. I cannot.





	maybe

**Author's Note:**

> this was such a fun way to explore my own writing and see what i could do with a limited amount of words. 
> 
> thank you so much to the mods for making this challenge happen! i love all the different fic challenges and how they... uh, challenge us to think differently and push ourselves. thank you<3
> 
> always thank you to the best beta there is. i'm tellin' ya. _the best._

Harry closes the door behind him with a small snick, toes off his shoes and walks through the short hallway over to the hotel bed. His mind is a constant, non-stop, never-ending swarm of thoughts, his body buzzes all the way out to his fingertips, his stomach, in particular, fluttery to the brink of painful. 

As he sits down on the too-soft mattress, leaning back on his hands and letting his legs stretch out in front of him, it all comes bubbling out from his chest. A deep rumble of laughter, elation, of excitement so tangible it feels like it’s going to rip out of him. It’ll stick its claws into his ribcage, bend and break him until it’s made its way into this too-dark hotel room. He forgot to turn on the lights. 

When the laughter finally seems to have run out, when he’s left a little breathless from the way it exploded out of his chest, he leans forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Running his fingers through his—still rather luscious thank you—hair, he shakes his head in disbelief. Cannot remember the last time his body took over like this, made him react so physically to something that made no sense. 

He takes a deep breath, tries to gather his own thoughts, tries to make sense of why his whole being feels like a wire snapped loose. Then he bites his bottom lip, cheeks heating with embarrassment because of course he knows. What he doesn’t know is why he, alone in this room, tries to pretend he doesn’t. 

It’s his fourth year visiting the Leicester Bookkeepers conference and this morning he settled into a squeaky chair in the large auditorium, preparing himself for two days of the hottest news of the bookkeeping business. What he got was a man who slipped into the room just as the host welcomed the audience. 

A bashful smile and eyes glinting blue under long eyelashes. Elegant wrists bending as they picked up a tablet and steady fingers tapping against the screen. Harry’s heart quickly made its way into his throat just at that. A flash of teeth and thick thighs in black jeans, a blazer with rolled up sleeves revealing tanned arms covered in ink. 

And that was before the coffee break when he heard him speak. Before the man introduced himself, with an airy laugh, a soft rasp of a voice— _ Louis _ . Before Harry could fully indulge and let his eyes fan over scruff-covered cheeks and the mouth watering tease of collarbones under his t-shirt. Before Harry, rather unwillingly, admitted this man was young. Maybe not even thirty. Before his fingers trembled with nerves as he rolled his eyes at himself.  _ Very classy Styles. Maybe stick to people your own age. _

But  _ that  _ was before the long conversation that floated between them during lunch. A light trickle and slow drawl blended together and the words were like lightning sparks in every last cell of Harry’s body. Then his fingers stopped trembling and his heart started thrumming heavily against his insides rather than trying to escape up through his throat. 

The rest of the day was spent exchanging barely concealed grins over a conference table. His ears filled with the low rumble of people talking around him, of thoughts and ideas being processed around an oval table, but all Harry could do was think about a joke he’d tell Louis as they were let go for another coffee break. 

There was a dinner for all the conference guests that night, included in the conference fee and all, but as soon as Louis suggested they visit an Italian place just a few streets over, Harry grabbed his coat with a dimpled smile.

Even now, just minutes after it’s ended, dinner is already a bit of a blur. He can picture soft lightening and sense the taste of tomato on his tongue, but other than that it is all  _ him _ . The way he spoke seemed to require, or maybe deserve, all of Harry’s attention. When Louis’ words simmered down, Harry’s seemed to explode into the air between them; so eager to pick up at the end of Louis’ sentence. He had barely been able to contain himself one moment, but then gladly quieted down as he saw something flicker in those blue, all too-blue, eyes.  

They said their goodbyes in the lobby. Louis’ room is on the floor below Harry’s, and the thought that he’s still in the same building makes the heavy flutters in Harry’s belly cramp up in knots. 

He brushes his teeth and keeps shaking his head at himself; keeps letting out huffs of disbelief as he looks at himself in the mirror. Somewhere in the back of his mind there is his very familiar stroke of self-deprecating doubt, but it’s difficult to pay attention to it when he knows he’ll meet Louis again in just a few hours. 

Just a few hours. 

\---

With every step across the parking lot, Harry’s heart lodges itself higher up in his throat and his chest clenches tighter. The car door closes behind him with a loud thud and he feels dizzy with all the thoughts swimming around in his head. It’s all over now. He’s supposed to leave. Supposed to go back home to London. Back to his perfectly satisfactory job, his caring and lovely friends, his beautiful house and those awfully, dreadfully lonely nights where he feels like he’s going to wither into nothingness. 

His eyes flicker to the foggy window, his subconscious somehow already searching for the man with soft brown hair and a crinkly-eyed smile.  _ Louis _ . Maybe he forgot to tell Harry something. Maybe he will make his way over to Harry’s car and knock on the window. Maybe Harry will be able to catch his gaze across the roof of a car and he would just  _ know _ without Harry having to tell him. 

_ I cannot not see you again. I cannot.  _

Harry closes his eyes and leans his head back against the headrest. He knows he needs to calm down if he’s going to be able to drive. But his limbs feel impossibly tight and numbingly heavy at the same time. He’s glued to the seat, unable to move, to turn the key and leave. 

Something that feels an awful lot like a sob clogs up his throat, gets stuck there on its way out of his mouth when he refuses to let it out; refuses to let the creeping stillness inside this car hear his pathetic cry.  _ Stop being so dramatic. Think about what  _ **_he’s_ ** _ doing right now.  _

Louis is in his own car, well on his way back home. Back home where he’s got his own life and his own friends and family and lovers. People who want him and need him and know him in ways Harry could only ever dream of.  _ Will _ only ever dream of. Louis isn’t disintegrating from the inside out at the thought of not seeing Harry again. If Harry is lucky, maybe Louis smiles at the thought of one of Harry’s stupid jokes but then he’ll move on. It was just a bookkeepers conference after all. 

Harry needs to forget the man who has had him wrapped up in his smile and witty mind for the past two days, even though he doubts he will forget any time soon. He doesn’t want to admit to himself just how sure he is of this fact. 

Those two days he felt himself come back to life. 

\---

The sliding doors whoosh closed behind his back as he takes a bite of the hot dog. It’s not even a three-hour ride back to London but he couldn’t help himself from pulling over at a filling station. For the first time in his life he’s dreading the familiar streets of London. His heart has calmed down, but the heaviness is still there in his bones. His movements slow as if that will make this trip last longer. Postponing the finality of it. 

He finishes the food in his car, swallowing down the last bits with the dregs of a can of soda water. Staring out the front window he wishes he’d never gone to the conference. He wishes that for a few precious hours he hadn’t been reminded of what it can feel like when someone draws you in and makes the slow routine of everyday life come to an abrupt halt. When someone reminds you that there is so much  _ more _ out there and every single day that goes by you’re missing out. 

His phone buzzes on the centre console and he lets out a deep sigh. He assumes it’s his sister Gemma calling to check if he’s home yet. His regular life calling him and asking him to get over himself because it’s really not that bad. He just got a taste of something different for a couple of days but that doesn’t mean he should be ungrateful for the good things his life  _ does _ hold. 

He picks up the phone as he reaches over to turn the key.

“Hello.”

There’s some shuffling on the other side for a few seconds before a soft, raspy “Hi” comes through the receiver and Harry nearly chokes by the force of his heart throwing itself against his ribcage. “Hi Harry. It’s Louis.”

The thoughts that have been tumbling in his mind since he left Leicester suddenly dissipate into nothingness. He can’t seem to make any one coherent thought stick long enough to make sense. He stutters. 

“H-hi.”

“I’m sorry I’m… god, this is embarrassing.” Louis chuckles nervously and Harry can’t help but smile at the sound. 

“What is?” he asks when Louis doesn’t continue. He nibbles at his bottom lip, anxiously anticipating the reason for Louis’ call.  _ Don’t get your hopes up you stupid old git.  _

“Eeh, well, so… I was in my car, right? And it’s really not that far of a drive, just a couple hours but I… now I’m at this bloody service area because I can’t make myself go back.”

Harry’s mouth goes dry, those flutters in his belly threaten to come to life. 

“Why not?”

Louis lets out another laugh that turns into a small sigh. “I just… I need to know if this is just me? I know it’s stupid but like… I can’t— Please tell me if I’m imagining this thing between us, if I’m absolutely out of my mind for thinking… because I’ll hang up and I’ll leave you alone I promise, I just—“

“It’s not just you,” Harry rushes out before Louis has talked himself into oblivion. 

Static silence sparks through the receiver. 

“It’s not?”

The smile that’s slowly taking over Harry’s entire face is making his cheeks tremble and he’s happy Louis can’t see him right now. 

“I’m literally at a filling station 40 minutes from home because I couldn’t make myself go on.”

“Really?” Louis sounds both relieved and slightly doubtful and for some reason that gives Harry the courage to continue.

“I felt sick thinking I’d never see you again.” 

His cheeks flush with the confession, so straight forward it cannot possibly be interpreted as anything other than affection. Want. 

“I thought—I thought you might…” Louis starts and then falls silent. It sounds like he’s shuffling around in his car seat. “I thought you might feel the same, I just wasn’t sure, but I guess… I just had to know.” 

Harry’s eyes burn with sweet relief at the words. “Well, now you know.”

“Yeah…” Louis sounds so warm and Harry wants nothing more than to hear that voice again, no phones or distance between them. 

“Exactly where are you right now?” Harry asks before he can stop himself, his rather clumsy and over eager fingers tapping at the GPS. 

“Oh erhm, eeh outside of Holmes Chapel, about 30 miles from the city,” Louis says, confusion and amusement bleeding through his voice. 

“Please tell me if I’m being ridiculous, but how about we meet for dinner in Birmingham in say, an hour and a half? That way neither of us will have to turn back home just yet.” 

He isn’t sure Louis will agree to his suggestion or laugh into his ear, but just the possibility of Louis agreeing to it makes his stomach swoop. 

“Oh god,” Louis burst out. “That sounds like the best idea ever if I’m honest.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

\---

“Did you wait here long?” Harry asks when he reaches Louis on the sidewalk. It feels like both an eternity and just a few seconds since he saw him last. 

“Just got here,” he says with a small shake of his head. His eyes shine up at Harry and he’s so beautiful it’s almost painful.  _ I got to see you again. _

He wonders how it’s possible to have missed someone this way. Someone he barely knows and after only a few hours without them. 

“This is a bit crazy right?” Louis asks and his cheeks colour beautifully. Somehow he manages to look both shy and teasing at the same time. 

Harry has never wanted to kiss a pair of lips as much as he wants to kiss Louis’.

“It is… I’m… I just wanted to see you again.” Harry feels like a teenager who’s just asked out a cute boy and his cheeks heat up at the thought. It was a long,  _ long  _ time ago since he was a teenager after all. The thought strikes him that he doesn’t know how long, or maybe not so long, ago Louis was.  _ Maybe this is a really bad idea.  _

Louis looks at him for a few moments, eyes contemplative and lips slightly quirked. 

“I think we need to go inside or I might just kiss you.” 

With those words Louis turns around and heads towards the restaurant, leaving Harry dumbstruck. When Louis turns again at the door and looks back at him, there’s a lovely smile on his lips. “You coming or?” 

Harry  _ really  _ wants to kiss him. 

He heads towards Louis who looks at him with a glint in his eyes. 

Maybe this is the best idea he’s ever had. 

“Let’s go inside before I kiss you first.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments always highly appreciated of course! 
> 
> thank you for reading ❤️
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/171341124268/maybe-written-by-momentofclarity-main-pairing) Thank you!


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